We were excited! We were finally going to see the progress of our little one! What with the heartbeat and all, and with the hemorrhage being managed, i.e. no spotting, we marched to the Ob-Gyne department of Makati Medical Center. We waited for our turn, and I got to go in with Hazel for the reading.What we saw would still affect us to this day. The sac was no longer oval in shape but had collapsed, appearing to have a kidney shape. In other words, the body was already trying to get rid of it as the fetus didn’t survive.
We were devastated. Hazel cried almost non-stop and all I could do was hold her. We stepped out of the booth, footsteps heavy with sorrow. The first people we contacted were our parents, with my dad relaxing at home and hers packing for their Korean trip later that afternoon.
My dad was shaking, and I could only imagine how affected he was by the miscarriage. He didn’t get the chance to come over though. Hazel’s parents and her sister, Jamie, went to the hospital immediately. We stayed in the department for a while but went down when they arrived.
Hazel had stopped crying already but as we approached her folks, the tears started flowing again. Mamita held her tight and didn’t let go. Papou went up to me, put his arm on my shoulder, and I was finally blinded by tears. Tears that felt like they would take forever to go away.
But eventually, they did go away, even when the sorrow did not. We had brunch in Pancake House, and we did our best to be strong. Mostly so her folks wouldn’t worry as they still had to go on the trip to Korea.
In retrospect, we should have recognized the signs. At least we would have been more emotionally prepared for the miscarriage. Hazel was not feeling the hormonal changes a few days after we saw the heartbeat and she actually felt stronger. The changes in her body stopped and reversed, but we were probably too elated to notice,
The next few weeks went to dealing with the aftermath of the miscarriage.
To be continued.
Read Part 1 here.
Read Part 2 here.
Read Part 3 here.
Read Part 4 here.
Read Part 5 here.
Read Part 6 here.
Here’s a video on early miscarriage. Hopefully it can shed some light on what happened to us.